Pinocchio

Jin Akanishi’s Pinocchio was released in 2016, but only recently have I felt like I resonated with it.
In a way, I put up with a lot of things to avoid conflict because drama is troublesome, and would end up feeling like a shitty puppet because it makes me sort of a pushover.

I don’t really release my feelings of being uncomfortable, and as a result people get uncomfortable around me as well and disappear. I guess it’s the drawback of being an introvert. I have my walls built up, so no one is around. However, relationships get cutoff when communication stops. For that very fact, it’s a little disappointing when I come back for break and can’t find anyone to hang out with. I guess I’m destined to die from loneliness because I’m scared to scare people off with my feelings and interests.

I’m told college is the best time of my life, but I feel controlled. There’s a formula to succeed in life and I have to follow it or risk it everything, while being a lost hope towards my parents. I don’t think I can be that spoiled, but I would appreciate autonomy, or else I have a tendency to just go with the flow rather than bend it to my liking and make everyone else satisfy with the status quo.

There are definitely people who accept me for the way I am, and I'm extremely glad for those people. There's nothing wrong with liking some things, and normally people are misinformed of those things people like.

But obviously it'll be really difficult for me to get everyone onto something I like that people perceive as weird. But I refuse to change myself for those people. If they can't accept the real me, they don't deserve to know the real me.